The Beginner’s Dilemma

I’ve yet to meet a person whose first sip of beer was a heavenly revelation. They’re probably out there, but they’re few and far between. I imagine this stems from the fact that most people try beer towards the beginning of their drinking experiences. Maybe it’s a sip of Miller High Life given by your cool uncle, a Bud Light stolen from your dad’s fridge in the garage, or a blue Solo cup full of Natty Ice at your first house party freshman year of college. Regardless, it can be a shock to the system for anyone who’s used to the sugary drinks of childhood like Capri Sun, Sunny D, Arizona Iced Tea and Coke.

I was about 12 when I had my first taste of beer. It was the middle of summer and my family was up in the Catskill Mountains. My dad, who rarely drank alcohol, had bought a six-pack of Budweiser during an earlier run into town for groceries. We had just gotten back from shoveling some gravel to fill up some marshy spots on some paths at the back of our property and we were dripping sweat. He went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. Opening it, he handed it to me and said “Here, have a sip.” Always the obedient son, I obliged. It was like nothing I had ever had before, but definitely not in a good way. The beer was ice cold and theoretically should have been refreshing, but my taste buds were immediately hit with bitterness and the taste of rotten grains. I forced down the sip with a grimace. Was this seriously the drink I’ve always seen commercials for? Could Spuds MacKenzie really advocate people drinking this? Noticing my reaction, my dad asked “Did you like it?” I emphatically shook my head no. “Good,” he responded, “don’t drink.”

I didn’t listen.